Is being happy selfish?
Of course not!!
But how many times have you put the wishes and wants of others above your own happiness?
Do you say yes to stuff you don’t want to do because you think it will make them happy?
Do you put your wishes on the back burner to help everyone else?
Do you spend your time anticipating what others are feeling?
All of this behavior is a pattern of people pleasing. It’s putting others happiness above your own happiness.
And that pattern is not sustainable!
You are draining yourself each time you do this.
You are disconnecting from your own feelings.
You are giving others your personal power.
It’s a pattern that you might not be aware of. My pattern started in my childhood. I tried to keep the peace. It was a pattern that continued into my adulthood. I thought if those around me were happy, then I would be happy.
You know, answering the question – “what makes you happy?” with “when my family is happy.” Haha – how silly!! I still worried that their happiness was fleeting. That I should do more. Others around me were happy and I was still not happy.
I was disconnect from my wishes, desires, and wants. Yes, I want them happy but I am not responsible for their happiness! I was taking all the responsibility to make them happy. It didn’t work. I was drained, tired, and unhappy. When I got happy, I allowed my family to own their own emotions. And I was able to own mine. Surprisingly (not really!), when I got happy, the house was happier, the individuals in my life were happier. It all started when I decided being happy was NOT selfish and acted accordingly.
What are you taking responsibility for that isn’t yours to take?? How much happier would you be if you allowed others to own their responsibilities??
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