So how did all that stuff lead me to where I am now? Well, it’s the other part of the journey. I was always a fit person, a little underweight without trying to be. I lost most the baby weight (50 lbs!) within three weeks of my daughter being born. In my early 20s, weight was not an issue and I never worked out. I would go to an exercise class or walk occasionally, but weight was not a focus. Our son was born when I was 28 and, afterwards, the weight dropped, but not as quickly or easily as it did with my first child. I then turned 30 and moved back to the states and started working full-time. I actually started exercising in the morning and everything was fine, but not great. I was no longer underweight and I could see the extra pounds I had added. I started educating myself on healthy choices, mainly for my children. I stopped cooking with salt and they never salted their food at the table (as teenagers, now, they rarely use salt. Yay!) I bought milk without rBST before many knew about growth hormones in milk. The list goes on and on.
I wanted to provide the healthiest choice to my family. I gave up on being an executive in a company and I became the executive of my household. I was a stay-at-home mom that did few things outside the home, and only when my children were otherwise occupied. My job was to be available to my kids!
Well, kids grow and become teenagers. The stress of being a “perfect” mom becomes overwhelming. I ate! I ate when I was stressed, I ate when I was bored. I became overweight/obese. These were my choices and I own them. I did it. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom and make that my everything and I made choices about what I ate and I made the choice to not exercise. When my kids were upset with me (and what kid doesn’t get upset with their parent?), I ate because I felt like I was failing at the one job I had. I was the President/CEO of the household and if the house wasn’t peaceful or perfect, I felt like I, personally, was failing. I didn’t receive kudos for a great job or an annual evaluation saying I was doing well. All my recognition came in how the house looked, if the kids were happy, and if there was peace in the house. If kids were mad or my husband was hesitant to come home because my daughter and I were having a fight then I FAILED!
This caused me stress and anxiety. I have spent many years in this cycle and way of thinking, and I am learning to change my thinking. I will not tell you I have it all figured out—remember it’s a journey and I am still on the journey—but I have figured out that I matter! I am important and it is okay to take care of me as much as I take care of my family. I have learned to eat healthy for myself and set aside time for my exercise. My husband (yes, the same high school sweetheart I married!) and I have had a date night every week for 5 years running. As soon as our son was old enough to be okay at home with his sister, we started our weekly “date night”. I placed value on my marriage and set time aside for it, but not for myself.
I have spoken to other stay-at-home moms and they get upset when a child doesn’t like what they cook. The husband who works outside the home says, “So what? Why are you upset that a six-year-old doesn’t like what you cook?”
But I get it! Being at home is our job and someone not liking what you do on the job is difficult. But being a stay-at-home mom or a working mom is not who we are! There is still the woman each of us were before a husband and kids and we matter too!
This process has led me to where I am. I wish I knew 10 years ago what I know now about health and wellness, but also about valuing myself. I wish I had someone come along on the journey and help me in a positive way. That is my new mission: to help others find themselves and regain their health and happiness… and even find new health and happiness they didn’t know existed. The journey is most rewarding when we learn to take care of ourselves, both physically and emotionally. I’m happy my journey has brought me to a place where I can help others find that for themselves. And, yes, I help guys also. The challenges men face are a little different then the challenges I have faced. We will work together to help you find your happy, healthy self.
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